What is your WHY?

"Direction is more important than speed"

The highest level performers in all walks of life have one specific thing in common – they have a WHY! This is true for CEO’s of Fortune 1000 companies, U.S Military Special Forces Operators, professional and Olympic athletes, and even A-list celebrities.

What does it mean to have a WHY?

All of the people mentioned above are able to successfully compete at the absolute peak of their field because they have a clear and defined reason to do what they do. Developing a WHY is the best way to ensure you are making progress towards your goals and avoiding setbacks towards said goal. 

Why simply means, you have a deep and profound understanding of WHY you get out of bed and do things throughout your day. The groups of people mentioned above can compete and have success at the absolute peak of their field because they have a clear and defined reason to do what they do. Their “WHY” gives them purpose, motivation, determination, discipline and reminds them constantly of their direction. For this reason, it is arguably the single most important mental skill an athlete, or anyone, can develop. Having a why allows you to develop a how and when (goals), resiliency, confidence, and a clear path to the rest of the mental skills techniques we will work through. Having a strong why is also a key component in developing another key skill, discipline. Think about this, its 4:30 or 5 am, you have a morning lift or run for your sport, the alarm goes off and you want nothing more than to hit snooze and roll over. Then, you remember your why, you want to be the best, you want to succeed in your sport, so you repeat it to yourself and you get up and go crush a workout. Discipline, simply put, is understanding why you are going to do something and then doing it even if it is unpleasant for a time. Growth comes outside of your comfort zone and the why is what pushes the boundaries. Developing a WHY is the best way to ensure you are making progress towards your goals and avoiding anything that will cause setbacks towards said goals. (More to come on goal setting later). A good why, however, can be tricky. If your why is weak then it will crumble at the first sign of pressure, pain, adversity, and even failure. When your why is weak you will negotiate with your inner self who undoubtedly will vote for the way of comfort: a warm bed, a video game, social media scrolling, etc. True negotiation and a strong inner why will prioritize and give each comfort and discomfort its due.       

So how does one go about developing a solid WHY?

The first step you should take is to ask yourself what your ultimate dream in life truly is. Is it to be a professional athlete, a CEO, a millionaire? Is it to make your high school sports team, be a good spouse, graduate high school and college, start your own business, or have a family?

Whenever you figure out this dream future, the next and most important step is to ask yourself … WHY do I want to do/be this?

Now, there are some vital things to remember when developing your WHY.

1. Your WHY should be powerful: When setbacks and obstacles arise, and they will, you should stick to your WHY because it is powerful enough to overcome anything. Growth also happens, arguably more so, from failure. If you cannot learn to accept this and have a why strong enough to overcome it, you will crumble. A powerful why is tied to your identity. It is a part of you. Do you want to be known as a good player or someone who is on the team? Are you playing a sport for social acceptance or do you truly love the sport and competition? 
2. Your WHY should be deep: this is similar to powerful but deserves mentioning. A shallow why is easily broken (I play because it is fun, I want to be a manger because they make more money). Instead you should focus on deeper meaning (I play because it challenges me to be a better person, I want to be a manager because I can help people). When a why is deep, it means something to you. It is protected by you and your identity. It is not easily attacked and even less easily torn down by outside influences. I remember when I was in high school, I had dreams of playing college baseball. One day a close friend of mine questioned me in a way that made the dream seem silly or unrealistic. It was the popular path to instead attend a major university and party like it was 1999. But this wasn’t my dream. I knew my why and I stuck to it. It mattered to me more than opinions of others. It was deep. 
3. Your WHY should be intrinsic: Do not base your WHY on extrinsic factors (I play because my friends do, I want to be a CEO because my dad is) instead look inside and feel your WHY (I play because it brings me joy to accomplish goals, I want to be a CEO because I find joy in this work and am able to be challenged and grow). This objective is tied to your soul. You are the only person you are with 24/7 until you die. You better make sure you are doing something you truly find joy in, after that the why takes care of itself. Doing something meaningful to you is the most important part of a why. If you do not love it, don’t do it. Two great questions are what would you do if money didn’t matter and you know you wouldn’t fail? 

By this point the word why has semantic satiation, you have said it so much it sounds weird, but its worth repeating. It is the foundation of this mental skills book. It is the starting point to all mental skills in athletics and in life. You should have an individual why and a team why, if you play a team sport, to remind you and your teammates and coaches why you do what you do when you do it. 

For Athlete’s

1. Once you have your WHY written above, write it down in places you will see it every day:
   1. Bathroom Mirror
   2. Sticky Note in your Locker
   3. Background of your smartphone
   4. Set a reminder on your phone to go off everyday
2. Find a buddy on your team and tell each other your WHY’s. Periodically check in with this person and talk about your WHY and how you are using it to improve your daily lives.
3. Discuss your WHY with parents/guardians and see what they can do to help you along the way

For Coaches

1. Collect the Athlete’s WHY’s and make them into visuals that can be placed in lockers
2. Have the coaching staff create and share their WHY’s with the team
3. Develop a team WHY and turn it into posters to hang in locker rooms and dugouts

You will see that once you have your WHY, everything else seems to be a little easier to figure out (goal setting, visualization, making choices). So develop your why and start conquering your life!